I’ve long believed that the universe gives a bit of a push when it is needed. Fate, destiny, the ever so grand pedestal on which things that are meant to happen happen, all set up to change things because of some sort of event, a certain person or persons, or in this case, just what seemed to be a simple photo.
Yes, a photograph.
I was recently reminded of that photograph as part of a social media “remember when” that usually reminds me about things like that I talk about music, pets, and knitting quite often which isn’t really groundbreaking. Having that photo version of me starting back, however, was different. I don’t call it a tipping point since I know now that things had started changing a short time prior but it was part of that. It was part of the slow shift, a grain of sand that wouldn’t have registered if I had stepped on it alone. I saw the tired eyes, though happy to be among friends, that had started in frustration at my closet just a short time before, just one of the many frustrations that I was holding on to and had held for too long. Too long, I had decided, it had been too long.
I try to keep some sense of positivity in my life even if it is just making sure that the music surrounding me makes me happy but I am only human. There are times that range from feeling bothersome to overwhelming, be it warranted or not, and I know that focusing isn’t good for me nor the people dealing with the grumpy cloud I’m dragging around. At least, my heavier than normal heavy footfall gives warning.
Now the heavier footfall is one that I try to pace to keep up with all that I surround myself with, pausing when needed for extra breath, grinding my heels in an attempt to crush what is against me, and running forward as much as possible and away as little. When I look at that photo, I see it differently now, rather thinking of the year that followed it than the night it was taken. There were many photographs of me with tired eyes that could have been taken during that time but it would have been because of good things. It could have been due to a late night filled with great people or fantastic music or trying to get one more row knitted or one more chapter read. It could have been because I was catching up having a good day after a bad one.
The timing of this all works with this being a week when people are expressing a concentrated gratitude for things. Think of the use of the word “concentrated” like coffee, being generally thankful for things is your daily coffee, or tea or juice if you prefer, and this week is like doing shots of espresso.
BAHAHAHAHA. There, that is a bit less comic book villain style but that is how I will look at that photo if it appears from the shadows again. If it appears again and if I notice it. I’d rather focus on the things that I am thankful for in my life like the opportunities ahead of me, the people who part of my life who are there for me when I’m in good moods and bad, surrounded by a flurry of crazy creative ideas, shared laughter and shared words, and the art and music that adds beauty to it all.