Please press and hold the panic button

Please turn off all electronics.

Please make sure your seat is in the upright position.

Please make sure when you drop the garden hose it doesn’t accidentally spray you.


Sometimes I swear real life needs a voiceover.  Today it would be in the style of a flight attendant with a voice similar to Bobcat Goldthwait.  It is a perfect mix of informative and AHHHHHHHHH.

So why is the imaginary voice looming overhead yelling this morning?

The dogs got out. Let me rephrase that – Cosmo let the dogs out who who who who let the… .  He might look at you with a dopey grin and a bit of a spacey look at times but I swear if this dog is a canine MacGuyver.  If he had thumbs, we’d be in serious trouble.  So MacDogver weasels the gate open as I am rewrapping the hose post watering the garden and the escape without me knowing. Luckily I can hear them in the next door yard and just need to catch them before they go further.

Cue the panic button.

Both are chipped, tagged, and not aggressive dogs so that isn’t why I panic… for the most part.  We live on a somewhat busy suburban street and so the threat of a car always terrifies me. So does not finding them at all. So does someone taking them and not giving them back since there are horrible people out there like that. I just get plain scared and take off running and yelling.

Best move? Probably not but that flight or fight or find instinct kick in. The adrenaline rush has me outside running in Darth Husband’s sandals since they were the first I found while still in my pjs (luckily a tshirt and capris and not a nightgown for the neighbors sake.) I end up with Cosmo coming by the time the second call of his name is over. Molly ends up stuck because she can’t get out of the neighbor’s yard due to a short fence. Luckily he is a really nice guy and gives me the ok to go get her.  Another neighbor comes by as well.  I am lucky to live by some really good people.

Both dogs are currently napping due to their adventure earlier. This dog-mom is currently chugging Tazo Awake tea after downing two pain killers to keep this post adrenaline rush headache from kicking into a migraine. (The spike in the weather today as well as a semi crappy sleep is also a risk so adding to it doesn’t help.)

The gate will end up being restrengthened somehow. 

I wonder if I could knit a cargo net.


Do your dogs, or pets in general, ever give you a good scare?


One thought on “Please press and hold the panic button

  1. Apparently Maxwell gave Ryan a bit of a scare this weekend while Nik and I were in Wisconsin. Ryan had Maxwell out on the front poarch with him at like 2am smoking, and I guess Maxwell just took off toward the neighbors house. Ryan caught up to him, and Maxwell was squaring off with a skunk. Thankfully no one got sprayed!

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